I'm Not Brave
by The-Windflower-Fairy
Summary: She always admired him, always said he was brave. He knew he wasn't, he just wished he was. He wished he was brave enough to open up to her. A Yuffentine songfic.


**Hey. :) So there I was lying in bed (about 2am), just about to fall asleep when suddenly this song started to play in my head, randomly. Then 'BAM!', out of nowhere I think 'Ohh this describes Vincent quite well...OMG it could describe Vinnie and Yuffie's relationship! I feel a Yuffentine coming on!' and so I grabbed my laptop and begun writing straight away. However, I didn't finish until, like, 4am or something, so I'm mega tired (I didn't want any good ideas to pop out of my head!), and so the spelling is going to be horrific. Sorry about that.**

**This takes place a few months after DoC. **

**The song is Brave by Leona Lewis. The **_italic _**lines are the lyrics. Things between the little '~S~'s (Start) and the '~E~'s are flashbacks/happened in the past. So yeah. Enjoy my little one shot/songfic thingy.**

**I don't own Final Fantasy VII. Or Leona Lewis' amazing lyrics either. **

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_Vincent's POV_

Yuffie Kisaragi was my exact opposite. That much was common knowledge. She was happy, lighthearted, and totally free. Myself, not so much. At first she annoyed me. When I had met her for the first time, after only a few minutes of knowing her I had decided she was far too happy to be mentally healthy. Constantly energetic and full of life, and always talking. At first I had thought of her as a nuisance, and a childish nuisance at that. But I quickly learned how to tolerate her, and over time I even grew quite fond of her. I realised she wasn't what she appeared to be at first glance. She wasn't childish, or annoying really. I listened to her, and I actually enjoyed basking in her happy presence. It was like she held a bubble of happiness around her that would effortlessly swell out and include anyone she encountered, including myself.

_Angels lift you off the ground,_

_I've got shadows weighing me down..._

She was like an angel; so pure and good. And I was her opposite. I was a demon; I was tainted. The demons whispering inside my head were a constant reminder of that. I knew I didn't deserve to be her friend, that I didn't deserve to be in her presence.

So I was quietly surprised when I realised she thought quite highly of me.

_Still you believe, you believe in me,_

_I wish I could feel that way..._

Yuffie believed I hadn't sinned in any way, and she insisted that I should start thinking like this too. And I had begun to forgive myself after the Omega incident. A lot of things changed after that. I remembered the first time Yuffie had seen me, after I had nearly died stopping Omega.

**~S~**

"Vinnie!" I turned around just in time to catch the little figure that hurled herself at me. Yuffie hugged me tightly around the waist and burrowed her head in my chest. I was surprised and not entirely comfortable, but I slowly relaxed and hugged her back gently.

"Hello Yuffie. I assume you missed me?"

She looked up at me, narrowing her eyes. Then she let go of my waist and I dropped my arms.

"You big jerk!" she said, giving me a light punch on the shoulder, "Don't ever do that again, I was like, going _insane _with worry! I mean, I thought you'd died!" Her voice broke on the last word, and she turned away from me. My eyes widened slightly in surprise. How could she care about _me? _

"Gawd Vincent, you're so brave." she whispered before walking away.

**~E~**

I hadn't known then that she'd ment that in more ways than one.

She thought I was brave for taking on Deepground mostly by myself. She thought I was brave for diving into the heart of Omega with no fear.

But she had told me it wasn't just that.

It had taken me a while to get her to tell me what she'd ment. She called herself cowardly for not just coming out and saying it. And again, she said I was brave.

**~S~**

"For what?" I inquired.

"For just going up to Lucrecia and telling her you loved her!" she said, "Weren't you scared?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes." I admitted, "...And my fears were confirmed when she said she couldn't love me back, and she chose Hojo instead."

She nodded, seeming lost in thought, then she smiled at me.

"Would it sound silly if I said I sorta had the same problem?"

I shook my head, encouraging her to continue. She bit her lip nervously.

"Um, well..." she looked like she didn't know how to phrase whatever she was going to say. I waited patiently, wondering why she seemed so nervous.

She took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm just gonna be brave and say it." She said determinately, "Vincent, I...I love you." She looked me directly in the eye without a trace of embarrasment. I blinked, completely caught off-guard.

"And I know you don't feel the same but-"

"Yuffie." I cut her off before she could convince me of anything. I didn't want to hurt her, but she couldn't love something like me. "You can't."

She smiled as if this was what she'd expected. "Too late."

I frowned. "No, you'll only get hurt. I-I can't love you."

She nodded, looking incredibly wise for her age. "I understand. I know you'll find it hard to love again after Lucrecia. But I'm not giving up."

**~E~**

Lucrecia had made her decisions, and it's too late to change anything. It's in the past now.

But the damage has been done.

I couldn't trust anyone with my fragile heart ever again.

_You can trust so easily,_

_I can't give you all of me..._

Yuffie said she trusted me with her life, and even more than that, with her heart.

She said: "Love is putting your heart in someone's hands and trusting them not to crush it."

I had trusted Lucrecia, and she'd crushed my heart. I never wanted to go through that pain ever again. I couldn't give anyone my heart, for fear they would break it. I couldn't. Never again.

All I could offer Yuffie was friendship. I couldn't give her anything more. I was too afraid, but she wouldn't give up.

_Still you're holding on,_

_When you should be gone..._

Still she stood by me, insisting she wouldn't give up on me. I hated myself for not telling her to just go away, or leave her myself. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand to hurt her, but I couldn't love her either. She didn't seem fazed at all every time I rejected her.

_I wish I was that brave..._

_You go to fight for love like a soldier,_

_I wanna run away..._

She was so ready to love me, to place her heart in my hands. Determined to get me to love again.

I knew I could never love her. And I told her this. I told her I didn't want to risk being heartbroken again. She listened, and I knew she understood. She knew I just wanted to run away.

_You're never scared to walk through the fire,_

_I wish I had your faith..._

She wasn't scared of getting her heart broken like I was, she had complete faith in me. I wished I could be like her; so unafraid.

_I turn away knowing my heart could break,_

_I'm so afraid to fall and surrender..._

I always turned her down, afraid my heart would could get broken again. I was scared to surrender to her, just in case it would.

_I'm not brave, I'm not brave..._

She said I was brave, but _she _was the brave one. She had no fear when it came to feelings. I did.

_Keep my guard up constantly,_

_Stop this pain from piercing me..._

I always kept my emotions in check, I always made sure no one got too close. Yuffie seemed immune to my coldness. She knew me better than anyone else, she knew the reason I kept people away. She was the only one who tried to really get to know me. She'd once refered to me as a puzzle she wanted to piece together, like a shell she was determined to crack. I had thought that was a pretty accurate metaphor. But she'd only get hurt if I let her in, and I was afraid I would get hurt if I dropped my protective sheild.

_Now I don't know how, how to put it down,_

_I wish I was that brave..._

I didn't know _how _to let her in anyway. I was such a coward. I was so _weak._ I wished I could open up to her like she had to me. I wished I was brave like her.

_You go to fight for love like a soldier,_

_I wanna run away,_

_You're never scared to walk through the fire,_

_I wish I had your faith..._

_I turn away knowing my heart could break,_

_I'm so afraid to fall and surrender,_

_I'm not brave, I'm not brave..._

_I'm not, I'm not brave,_

_Still you believe, you believe in me..._

Yuffie always told me I was brave, and I strongly disagreed. She laughed and shook her head upon hearing it.

**~S~**

"You're so strong Vinnie! You've managed to make it through everything that's happened to you, and that's _a lot _compared to other people." she said, her eyes sparkling with admiration.

Admiration I didn't deserve. I didn't say anything, and she smiled.

"You _are _brave," she insisted, "very much so."

I sighed. It was best not to argue with her. Suddenly she stepped forward, closing the already small gap between us.

"Yuffie." I warned apprehensively. She ignored my warning and put her face very close to mine. Then she froze, waiting. We both stood our ground for a few minutes, holding each others' eyes. For a second I considered kissing her, I _wanted _to.

But I wasn't that brave.

I looked away from her, and she stepped back. She looked disappointed for only a split second before her face brightened.

"I'm still not giving up on you."

A part of me didn't want her to.

"You're so strong, and brave." she murmured, "I still believe you'll come through in the end."

**~E~**

_I wish I was that brave..._

I wished I wasn't so cowardly. I wished I wasn't so weak. I wished I wasn't so afraid to love her.

I wished I was that brave.

_You go to fight for love like a soldier,_

_I wanna run away,_

_You're never scared to walk through the fire,_

_I wish I had your faith..._

_I turn away knowing my heart could break,_

_I'm so afraid to fall and surrender,_

_I'm not brave, I'm not brave..._

I wasn't good enough for her anyway. She deserved someone braver than I; someone who would love her without hesitation.

I had to leave.

And it was going to kill me to do so. Even worse, it would tear her apart. She had put her heart in my hands, and I was going to drop it-smashing it into pieces-and leave her. Just like the coward I was. I couldn't love her. I couldn't trust anyone that much ever again. I _wanted_ to trust her, I _wanted_ to love her, but I just couldn't.

_I'm not brave, I'm not brave..._

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**Please do me a favour and correct any spelling/grammar mistakes, I'm terrible, and tired. And even better I have coursework due in for tommorow that I haven't finished! I leave it all 'till the last minute...and Microsoft Word isn't working. So I'm offically screwed! Unless God decides to have mercy and make it a snow day tomorrow...'cos it snowed last night over here. Yeah, in _February! _Climate change is gonna kill us all...**

**Thanks for reading! Please review before you go!**

**xoxo**


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